In One Second
...your life can be drastically impacted (for better or for worse). In just a single second, I lost my confidence and sense of security as a single, young woman living in the heart of a city.
On a normal weekday morning, just after rush hour, I was on my way to work via the CTA. While on the platform and after hearing that my train was about 2 minutes away, a large, tall, and intimidating man came up to me, asked if I had a gun, and then told me not to run. In just a split second, I feared for my life. Every part of his voice and body language indicated that he had a weapon on him and would use it if I didn't give him what he wanted. He wanted all of the cash that I had on me, so I gave him the only thing I had to offer: a $20 bill. After receiving what he came for, he walked away, only to turn back at the last second to mutter a very aggressive "thanks."
My whole body shook. I fought to hold back my tears. I couldn't even get on the train anymore, so I ran back to my apartment and called the police to report the incident.
For the few days following, I was terrified to go anywhere alone. I couldn't take the train to work (I still haven't been able to take it by myself yet). I power-walked to and from church, which was only a few blocks from my apartment, turning the 10 minute trip into a 5 minute one. I couldn't even walk through the grocery store without tensing up anytime anyone walked past me. I feared for my life every time I walked from Point A to Point B, thinking everyone was potentially going to hurt me.
My wound is still healing. I am slowly able to walk by myself with a little more confidence (but only when I absolutely need to and still walking as fast as I can to get there). I often found myself getting angry with God through my daily prayer. "Why weren't you there?! Everything was going fine... Why did I need to go through something like that?" When I was sharing this with a priest, he suggested that I revisit that day in my mind, but this time, walk there hand-in-hand with Jesus. He said, "See what happens when you get there. Let that be your prayer."
I did just that and found that I never let go of His hand, nor did He let go of mine. He was there with me the entire time, holding my hand, and still remains with me wherever I go. He protected me that day and will continue to protect me all the days of my life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you (Isaiah 41:10).
If you are reading this, please pause and pray for the man who approached me that day. Pray that he finds what he is looking for and that he may learn the other healthier and non-threatening ways to get it. Pray for all those who feel that they need to turn to aggressive, threatening, and sometimes violent means to get what they need. Pray for me, as I slowly gain my confidence back. Finally, pray for all those who forget that Jesus is with them through any and all situations, especially those that are difficult and terrifying to experience alone.
