Living in the Present

Living in the present is sometimes tough and uncomfortable.

Typically, as humans, our comfort zone is to live in either the past or the future. We love remembering and doing nostalgic things, such as going through old photos, talking about toys we used to play with as children, or smiling when a #throwback song pops up on our playlist. We also love to plan, often scheduling events, meetups, parties, and other fun activities days, weeks, or sometimes even months in advance.

But in a world of a pandemic, you physically cannot live in the future and might become too sad if you dwell too much on the past. We have absolutely no idea what tomorrow or even next week will look like. We are forced to live in the present, facing the here and now.

I recently had the opportunity to attend a virtual retreat through Ascension, which was led by Fr. Mike Schmitz. In the very first session, Fr. Mike said, “The Lord has given us this time for a reason.” While, at the time, he was talking about the retreat, I couldn’t help but think how his statement applies to this time in quarantine. This time is a gift to be spent well. God has allowed this pandemic to happen for whatever reason, and yet, he can certainly bring good from it.

So what IS good right now?

Here are three things I have been grateful for while living in the present during this time of social distancing and self-quarantine:

Number One: REST

It’s ironic how my last blog article was about finding rest because I think I’ve found it during this pandemic. This rest can look differently for everyone, but for me, this rest has been physical, emotional, and spiritual. This time in isolation has been a pause from the busyness of life, and yes, while it has been incredibly sad to completely clear my schedule of all of my activities and obligations, it has, in a weird way, been kind of freeing. Other than a few Zoom meetings here and there for both professional and personal reasons, I have ZERO plans. Therefore, I have been able to really focus on and prioritize my physical health, finally finding time to do at-home workouts and cook healthy meals, and on my spiritual health, getting back in a routine of personal prayer throughout the day and learning what it truly means to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I have had to remind myself of the importance of unplugging at night and heading to bed at a decent hour, but it has also been nice to allow my body to naturally wake up whenever it is ready since I haven’t had to set an alarm. During this time in isolation, I have never felt more rested than I do right now, and I know that this rest is going to prepare me for whatever the future may hold.

Number Two: RECONNECTION

Thank God for the gift of technology, am I right? I have truly been blown away by how I have been able to stay connected with loved ones and friends during this time of isolation. From texts, phone calls, Zoom dates, etc., I have been able to catch up with friends from elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and beyond! I cried tears of joy when I was able to virtually catch up with five of my best girlfriends who I’ve know for over 20 years (shoutout to the Six Pack!). I attended a virtual Zumba class taught by a friend who used to teach classes when we were in college. I had a virtual Happy Hour with friends from college to celebrate it being 5 years since we graduated. I Zoomed for 5 hours (!!!) with close Chicago friends, as we watched an episode of 90 Day Fiancé and unpacked it on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level (and yes, this is actually possible). One thing that brought me the most joy though was through a silly little Facebook logic puzzle. I usually hate the “share this with everyone you know” social media posts, but for some reason, I decided to share a logic puzzle I had participated in on another friend’s profile. Within just a few hours, I had over 60 comments from different friends, who were commenting with their guess for the puzzle’s answer. If they correctly guessed the answer, I would delete their answer (so that others could still have a chance to guess) and then message them to encourage them to share it with their friends. Because I know how much I, personally, hate these kind of messages and posts, I would usually follow up with an extra message to my auto reply, asking them how they were holding up during this weird time. Just this little message led to some truly beautiful conversations with friends that I had not spoken to in YEARS! During this time in isolation, I am reminded of how important it is to reach out to others, to stay connected, and to share with people how much they are loved. It has also made me grateful for all of the different friends I have made throughout my journey of life so far and excited for all of the people in the future that I have yet to meet.

Number Three: REFOCUS

In the days leading up to the complete global shutdown, I had been feeling like my Lent had been a complete waste. I had set really high expectations for myself on things that I wanted to do or ways that I wanted to grow spiritually during this liturgical season of preparation before Easter. However, I often found myself distracted or constantly turning away from opportunities to grow closer to God, perhaps because of some built up anger and resentment towards Him due to recent “unanswered” prayer requests. However, living alone, I found that you can’t actually run from God when he is, literally, the only one physically present with you…Through the Lenten virtual retreat I attended, I was able to completely dive in, revealing emotional and spiritual wounds I had accumulated over the years and asking God to enter those wounds to heal them. I was in tears for several of the sessions, hearing God profoundly speak to my heart and sharing with me how much He loves me. “God loves you as if there is nothing else in the world,” Fr. Mike Schmitz shared in one of the sessions, and this truth was something I had recently forgotten. God is the only one who will ever perfectly and completely fulfill me. Because we are human and often fall into sin, we will try to find this fulfillment in other ways, but nothing will ever fully satisfy us except for the Lord Himself. During this time in isolation, I have been able to refocus on my relationship with God and surrender all of my anxiety about the future to Him. I have been able to simply rest in His presence, and let him love me just as I am today.

Even though this pandemic has forced us to make lots of sacrifices and is certainly not ideal in any case, I have seen it as a gift, an opportunity to rest, reconnect, and refocus. So what have YOU been grateful for during this pandemic and time of living in the present?